Do I Have to Forgive? Part 1

Do I Have to Forgive? Part 1

When I returned home from running errands today, I was greeted by our son grinning from ear to ear. I asked him why he was grinning so loudly. He said, “Because I won.” I then asked him to explain. He told me about an incident in his class that involved a bully. I know all about this bully because our son has been expounding for months on the terror that this eleven-year-old girl has been unleashing against our son and his classmates. He told me that this bully asked him if she could borrow his pencil sharpener, and he told her “No.” So she told the teacher. The teacher confronted our son and asked why he was unwilling to share his sharpener, and he told his teacher that she is always mean to him. Then he said to me, “I didn’t have to share with her, so I won.” I really love this little bully because she has afforded me an innumerable number of teaching moments. This incident was no different. In trying to use the Word to explain things to my son, I thought to myself, this would be a good topic to explore in the blog. Are we required by God to forgive? Let’s see what The WORD Says.

The first verse I want to examine is the words of Jesus recorded in Matthew 6. This is the key verse that you will hear legalistic Christians quote and make their stand on.

Matthew 6:14-15; 14 "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 "But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

I remember someone quoting this verse to me after I had been horribly and unjustly wronged. That person told me that if I didn’t forgive, God wouldn’t forgive me. I remember thinking to myself, “So God will forgive me of all the hideous things I have done but only with the condition that I forgive others for the wrongs done to me? No, that can’t be right. That doesn’t align with other Scriptures.”

My law preaching brothers and sisters are jumping up and down right now screaming, “But there it is in red letters!” I agree. Jesus said that. And it is recorded on the heels of the Lord’s prayer that all of us have memorized and quoted; “Forgive us of our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us.” I concede Jesus said that if you do not forgive, then our Father in heaven will not forgive you. But not so fast my friend. I always insist on context and audience, and this is no different. Let’s look at who Jesus was addressing? He was speaking to the Jewish people who were under the Old Covenant. Jesus was expounding on the requirements of the law prior to the New Covenant. Why would He do that? He did that to impress upon those hearing that if they were going to continue to hold themselves accountable to the law, then forgiveness was another requirement. Jesus taught under the Old Covenant, and He was speaking to the Jews who upheld that obedience to the Mosaic Law was mandatory for right standing with God.

Matthew 15:24 But He answered and said, "I was not sent except to the lost sheep of the house of Israel."

This is another example of the importance of studying the Word in context. Jesus spoke these words to those under the Mosaic Law BEFORE Jesus fulfilled all the requirements of that law for all of us. If this sounds foreign to you, let me ask you this question. How many people were saved before Jesus was crucified? None! The disciples were not even saved during Jesus’ ministry on Earth. The New Covenant was not established until after Jesus’ death. Jesus made this statement before He was crucified. He was essentially saying, and I am summarizing, “If you are going to hold yourself accountable to the law, then you must hold yourself accountable to all of it and forgiveness is one of the requirements.” The New Covenant did not take precedent until Jesus’ blood was poured out for us.

Hebrews 9:22 And according to the law almost all things are purified with blood, and without shedding of blood there is no remission.

A covenant could only be ratified with sacrificial blood. So why would Jesus preach Old Covenant if He was ushering in a New Covenant? He did so to show those under the law that there is no possible way for anyone (other than Him) to keep all the law and therefore they need a Savior. Let’s look at what Jesus said to His disciples after His encounter with the rich young ruler who boasted about keeping all the law.

Matthew 19:16-26; 16 Now behold, one came and said to Him, "Good Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may have eternal life?" 17 So He said to him, "Why do you call Me good? No one is good but One, that is, God. But if you want to enter into life, keep the commandments." 18 He said to Him, "Which ones?" Jesus said, "'You shall not murder,' 'You shall not commit adultery,' 'You shall not steal,' 'You shall not bear false witness,' 19 'Honor your father and your mother,' and, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' " 20 The young man said to Him, "All these things I have kept from my youth. What do I still lack?" 21 Jesus said to him, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me." 22 But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions. 23 Then Jesus said to His disciples, "Assuredly, I say to you that it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24 "And again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." 25 When His disciples heard it, they were greatly astonished, saying, "Who then can be saved?" 26 But Jesus looked at them and said to them, "With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

This rich young ruler was confident that he had kept all of the law, but he failed miserably in the very first commandment: “You shall have no other gods before me.” This young man was not willing to give up his money to follow the Lord. His money was his god.

The requirement for entrance into heaven is perfection and “good intentions” is not considered. Only Jesus was able to perfectly fulfill all the law. Jesus spoke the law to the Jewish people so that they would throw their hands up and say, “Who can get into heaven if perfection is the requirement?” And Jesus’ response was, “Men cannot do it, but God can. You need a Savior.” Jesus brought up the law and keeping it so that people would realize they could not meet the standard. He was merely reinforcing to them that even if you believe you have kept the law in its entirety, you haven’t. You need a Savior. Look at all the stories of Jesus’ ministry. The Bible says He was a friend of sinners and tax collectors. But there are no verses that record that Jesus preached the law to any of them. He just showed them love and grace. But to the keepers of the law, He had stern warnings.

Matthew 23:23-28; 23 "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faith. These you ought to have done, without leaving the others undone. 24 "Blind guides, who strain out a gnat and swallow a camel! 25 "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you cleanse the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of extortion and self-indulgence. 26 "Blind Pharisee, first cleanse the inside of the cup and dish, that the outside of them may be clean also. 27 "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men's bones and all uncleanness. 28 "Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.”

Is unforgiveness a sin? Yes. So, the question, “Do I have to forgive for God to forgive me?” has two answers. The answer, if you have not made Jesus your Lord and Savior, is an emphatic “yes.” You will be measured against all of the law. However, if you have accepted Jesus’ sacrifice as your atonement, the answer is an emphatic “no” because you are no longer under the law, but under grace.

Romans 6:14 For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.

For believers, God’s forgiveness is not predicated on our ability or even willingness to forgive or keep any of the law. But, if we are to be Christ-like, then we ought to forgive. God absolutely wants us to forgive those that wrong us, and Jesus gave us the perfect example. Look at what Jesus prayed as He hung on the cross, beaten, scourged, spit upon, cursed, and insulted.

Luke 23:34a 34 Then Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do."

For the sake of keeping this blog from going long, I will pick up with part 2 on the next one. We will examine why it is so important that we forgive those who have wronged us.

I hope this helps. Jesus loves you!